Just Waiting...some more.

Since my appointment with Dr. Long I've been feeling kind of impatient. I was on a "new doctor high" for a few days, then it wore off this weekend. Yesterday morning I had a dream that I took a pregancy test and it was positive. I was so shocked I woke up and ran to take a pregnancy test. I knew I wasn't pregnant, but I had to try anyways. No surprise, it was negative. So yesterday, I was kind of in another fertilifunk. It wasn't too bad, I just got upset when my friend casually mentioned she was going to go shopping for baby stuff. Something, as a good friend, I should be happy about...but it made me cry. Then after a nice dinner out with my hubby, we came home and watched Couples Retreat. If you've seen it and you are infertile, I'm sure you can relate. A comedy shouldn't make me cry right? I know I'm premenstral and I'm just being emotional right now. I'm on day 24 or 25--I actually can't remember right now (for once). So, she's coming. I've got my drugs and I'm sittin' on go.

Alas! A Diagnosis.

Today was my first visit with my new RE, Dr. Long at ART. Once we made it through the maze of a parking deck (and all of the elevators)we made it to the office. I was immediately impressed with the waiting room, it was much bigger and more comfortable than the one at St. Vincents. Shortly after I arrived a very sweet lady came up to me and asked me if I was RachelP!!!! I knew immediately that was "Other Rachel's" mom! Not too much later, Rachel came out from her appointment. It was really exciting! RachelP no longer just lives in my computer. =) I arrived at my appointment at about 9:30, and we didn't leave until almost 1:30.

First, we met with Dr. Long. Yes, I actually got to meet the doctor! I hate to keep comparing things to St. Vincents, but I never actually met the doctor in the 6 months that I was with their infertility clinic. Dr. Long is great. Nick and I both really liked him. Within the first 30 minutes of being there, I FINALLY got a diagnosis. I have mild PCOS/Insulin resistance. I literally had no idea. Why in the world wouldn't anyone have told me this. I understand that it's a mild case, and I don't have all the symptoms, but come on! Why couldn't someone else figure this out? So, here's the plan. 150 units of Menopur on CD 3-8 or 4-9. From there, if my follicles look good, we'll do the HCG injection then IUI. I've done HCG twice before, so I know how that game goes, but I'm not familiar with the Menopur, and if we get to go ahead with the IUI it will also be my first. Anyone else on Menopur? What side effects should I expect? Oh, they also said I'd do progesterone suppositories too after IUI.

Next, they did a pelvic exam and an ultrasound just to check things out. This part did take quite a while. I sat completely naked with a sheet and a paper vest for about an hour before they came in for the pelvic exam. Then, I had to change rooms, and instead of getting completely dressed again then told me to put on my top and wrap a sheet around me and I could run to the next room. I waited for the ultrasound for about 30 minutes. By the time I got back to my DH in the financial counseling room, he was going stir crazy. He had read every pamphlet they had on every disease, disorder, and procedure. We me with the nurse for a while and signed more paperwork, and she taught us how to mix the Menopur. After that, the fiance lady came in. She helped us make sense of our insurance coverage. Finally, Nick and I went and had our blood drawn for some tests. It was an eventful, but good appointment.

We decided to go ahead and get the drugs even though it's a while before my next cycle starts. We stopped at Southern and dropped about $500 on drugs, and that was with 50% coverage from the insurance company. Don't get me wrong...I'm not complaining. I'm grateful that we were able to buy these drugs, but it would be nice if they were a bit cheaper.

I'm so thankful to God, that he put wonderful doctors on this earth that can help us when we are in need. I praise him that we're finally able to figure out what is going on with me, and I have faith that he will give us a child one day!

My First Blog Award!

I never thought I'd see the day, but "Other Rachel" from "The Pughs" nominated me for a blog award! Thanks Rach! You're the best! With this award comes a small duty though. I am supposed to nominate 7 blogs for the award as well as tell 7 random facts about myself. (Rachel, I'm using your blog as a template for this..hehe)

In no particular order:

1) "I did, I do, I will" (Shanny)One of my new fertilifriends who has the best sense of humor. Check out her blog to see her nickname for the ultrasound.

2) "The Eberts" (Samantha) I met Samantha at January's Resolve meeting, and I've been following her blog ever since. Her journey and success has given me so much hope!

3) "Life Letters" (Leah) Leah and I went to high school together, played soccer for a little bit (we were horrible) and then she moved away to Utah. Between Facebook and Blogging we are in touch regularly. Her blog is always a fun read.

4) "Q and A" (Audrey) Audrey and I also went to high school together, played soccer for a little bit, but she never moved to Utah. She always posts great pics, I love seeing her little girl Deci. =)

5) "Mandy Owens Photography" (Mandy-of course) She is a friend from school who has really had great success with her photography business. She does great work, and she travels too!

6) "Infertility and the City" (Jaime) I just started following this blog, but so far I love it. It's so comforting to join others in their journey. This is too tough to do alone.

7) "Conception Deception" (Brandy) I also met Brandy at January's Resolve meeting. I was so lost and broken before I went to that meeting last month. Brandy and Samantha both gave me the idea of using blogs to help cope. I can't wait until our next meeting Monday.

I also really enjoy some of the other blogs that "Other Rachel" posted. We follow some of the same blogs. I tried to chose different blogs so we didn't "double dip."

Okay, so now...7 random facts.

1) I have a horrible fear of Buffalo. As a teenager I witnessed a buffalo attack at Yellowstone National Park right next to Old Faithful, and I have yet to recover. Family tends to think this is a funny bit of information. A few Christmas's ago I got a little buffalo toy. Thanks Mom!

2) I can swim like a fish. It took 2 near drowning experiences as a child, but I kept pluging away at it. I love to swim, although I haven't done it much in the last several years.

3) I count my steps just about everywhere I go. Sometimes, when I'm feeling comfortable and confident I don't do it, but if I'm in an unfamiliar place or feeling anxious you'd better bet I've got my mental pedometer ticking away.

4) I had an exchange student live with me when I was in high school. Her name is Anu and she's from Finland. I got to go back home with her for a few weeks, and that was the last time I've needed my passport. It expired this year.

5) I've got the sweetest Golden Retriever ever! I bought him for my husband right after we started dating. His name is Brody and he is so laid back.

6) My husband and I have our own cheesy lingo that we use with eachother. He is my "smouse" instead of my spouse, and he might tell say, "come wish me" instead of "come with me." There is really no rhyme or reason, just certain words we say certain ways. I know..we're obnoxious.

7) I'm a very picky eater. My least favorite food: potatoes I don't even like french fries. I'll eat fries if they are thin and crispy..but that's it. Don't mistake my picky eating for lack of love for food...because obviously-I LOVE TO EAT!

Well, this was fun!

Proud Teacher

One of my students was featured on the news. I normally wouldn't post about my kids because of confidentiality reasons, but I figured since the whole state has seen him, I'm not breaking any laws.

Check it out here: Dylan

I had this student the first two years I taught. I can't believe he is a senior this year. *tear* I'm so proud.

I don't like the word "Cancel"

Well, I was right. My estrogen only went up to 75, and that ugly cancel word popped up again. I am definitely changing doctors. I'm thinking someone in with ART. I've heard from a few people that Dr. Long was good. I'm anxious about the change, but I knew, and Dr. Snowden also knew it was time for me to move on. My DH and I have decided to do our best to relax for the rest of this month...I may even allow myself some caffeine and artificial sweeteners! Whoo hoo livin' on the edge!

I just got home from my little weekend get away. My husband is an avid hunter, and since this was the last weekend of deer season, I decided to join him. I don't hunt, but I just like to get away...read..socialize with his huntin' buddies. Nick had some business to take care of in Wedowee tomorrow, so he stayed behind, and I drove his truck home. It made me feel manly--all the mud caked up on it. Dirt roads were a bit sketchy to drive on. I stopped in Albertville on my way home and had lunch with my friend Hayden and her mom (I arrived at their house just as lunch was ready =) Then I went and spent some time with my mom. It was nice. Mom helped me research new doctors.

Well, laundry calls...or should I cancel laundry? Evil Word!!!!

UGH!!!

Ok, God...I'm tired of being infertile now.

So, I went back to the dr. yesteday for CD8 u/s and blood work. Estrogen level: 44 UGH!!! I continued with 2 more days of the Follistim injections, and I have to go back in the morning, but I'm sure it's still going to be bad. I'm almost sure they're going to cancel the rest of the treatment for the month. I'm so frustrated. I'm also changing doctors next month. Any suggestions for Birmingham?

Sometimes...

Sometimes, I wish for just once in my life that the world would be still, stop spinning, everyone would stop doing what they were doing, so that I could catch up. The problem is that it's never going to do that for me. The world will go on spining, people will go on with their lives, women will get pregnant, families will grow, and I'll just be here waiting. I'm waiting for my turn to shine, my turn to get pregnant, my turn to start a family.

I've had a rough few days. They haven't been the worst days I've had by far, but I just have that nagging empty feeling, the jealous feeling, the angry feeling. Today is CD7, my last 50IU injection of Follistim in my belly tonight...unless they tell me otherwise at my appointment in the morning. I know it's early in my cycle for my follies to be ready, but I'm nervous about tomorrow because I know it'll be the first day of blood work to check my estrogen. Last cycle, everything was cancelled because my estrogen was so low. I really can't handle another cancelled cycle. Last night I told my DH to cheer for my follies to grow and my estrogen to rise. He did, it was cute. I hope it works.

On another note, I signed up for "Scale Back Alabama" yesterday. I'm fat and infertile..not a good combination. I just hope that I quit retaining water with this Follistim. I put on 3 lbs in one day of just water weight! That's nuts!!!!