Friday, June 4, 2010

It's official...

I'm no longer pregnant. Well according to numbers anyways. AF started to show up a few days ago, and "officially" started yesterday. It's been very heavy and uncomfortable. We're taking time off from treatments, but the nurse told me that I still needed to come in for basline u/s and blood work. I get there this morning, and take my bottoms off and get on the table, heavy aunt flo with me...and then she asks me if I have my meds ordered. I told her I wasn't doing treatments, and she asked what I was doing there. UGH. She told me to get dressed and just get some blood drawn. Such a waste of a trip.

By regluar blood girl wasn't there, and it took 3 sticks to get the blood. The vein on my hand is blown. UGH. I checked my voice mail, and in a chipper voice I hear this: "We have the results from your pregancy test. It's was negative, so your pregnancy is resolved!" Hm....mixed feelings here. I'm not feeling so "resolved" about the whole thing. Sure, I'm glad, there aren't any lingering cells doing bad things down there, keeping my beta up....but I was supposed to have a baby growing in there, and now I don't. I feel quite unresolved actually. UGH.

On a positive note, driving to B'ham wasn't a total bust, I got to hang out with 2 of my friends from high school. It was good to spend time with them. I'm about to head to my sisters to play Just Dance on her Wii...that game is so fun.

Have a good weekend all, I'm thinking about all of you--no matter where you are in your journey.

3 comments:

  1. Rachel,

    Well, we officialy have something in common...the arrival of Flo. I was fortunate enough for her to show on my very first RE visit. So, that meant blood work, 10 viles worth and an us for me today too...just sorry you had to endure this, but thankful you had no complications of a lingering beta. I still can't understand how these people who work in Fertility facilities can be so darn neglectful in the messages they leave. Resolved? What a poor word choice!

    Be good to yourself, as I know how hard this is for you. My heart is heavy for and with you.

    Enjoy your Wi time ;) And, take a little "me" time too.

    HUGS

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  2. I relate so much to this post. It was such an awful feeling waiting for my betas to go down. On the one hand, I knew it was for the best medically speaking to avoid a D&C, but finally reaching that point where I was officially "not pregnant" when the only thing I wanted to be was pregnant was just so hard. I would echo Andrea's words about being good to yourself. Allow yourself all the time you need to grieve. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  3. Rachel,

    Thanks for the helpful info on the MMR vaccine :) I will definately get it, but am bummed that I hit another road block...but thankful that I know :)

    SO happy that your dye test showed no blockages, that is fabuolus! I suppose I will be getting that test in the near future too.

    HUGS and Have a Good Week

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