The Post I Never Wanted to Post

A while back I posted about some personal issues that I wasn't ready to talk about.  I'm not sure why, but today I feel like I need to get it off my chest. 

I realize there are some people who follow my blog that I know in real life, and I ask that you be respectful after reading this and not discuss it with anyone, and I'm not really sure how all of this will play out.  Please be vigilant in prayer for my family, and I appreciate your consideration for my privacy.

Nick and I are separated.  There, I said it.  It hurts.  It's very confusing.  It's very painful.  I don't know what to expect for my family or my marriage.  Nick and I have never had the perfect marriage, but I never expected him to leave.  I never saw it coming.  We have been apart since November, and I have so much anger and resentment about how it has impacted all of my babies "firsts."  I don't know if this seperation will end in divorce, or if we will try to find a common ground and make it work.  I do know this:  I want my children to have their family together, but I do not want to live in a marriage where I am not loved or not put above all others (aside from my children).  Being a single mom to triplets who are about to turn one isn't easy, but I have been blessed with great family and friends who help me out.  Nick will come help when I ask, but it's a pride thing on my behalf.  I don't like to call unless I have to....plus it confuses me to have him around. 

For now, I'm seeing a counselor.  It's been helpful.  I just have a hard time not know what my life has in store.  I've always known this about myself.  It's why I felt like I had such a hard time with infertility.  I can't stand not knowing. 

I will end again by asking for your prayers. 

9 months

My precious babies turned 9 months old yesterday. They are growing so fast , and they have brought so much joy to my life. I do ask for prayers for a much deeper personal issue that I'm not ready to blog about. I will say please pray for my family. Ask that God brings us together to be a strong family unit as he planned for it to be.

7 months

It's incredibly insane that the triplets are 7 months old. Jackson and Emma cut teeth in September, and there are no teeth for Brayden yet.

All three are scooting around, and I'm positive I will have crawlers in the coming weeks.

Life is busy and my blog has suffered, but here are a few pictures to share.

A new name and a few pictures...

I thought I would give my blog a new name....I didn't think it was possible, or it's something I would have done a long time ago.  Shows what I know about blogging.  Ha!

I uploaded some pictures to discover that my camera is HORRIBLE, and I need a new one...most of my images are blurry.  However, I thought I'd post a few for your viewing pleasure. =)

First Time Swimming

 Brayden and Jackson

 All 3 tuckered out

 Sweet Em

 Sweet Jackson

 Sweet Brayden

 We love the turtle float!

 Too cute, huh?

Pigeon Forge 1st Vacation

 Lounging in our jammies

 Good Morning, Jackson!

 Brayden is bright eyed in the morning!

 Emma was talking to Mommy.

The babies slept through seeing the bears. =)

Until next time...

4 Months

Hello everyone! If you haven't noticed by now, having triplets makes it pretty difficult to blog! I have been enjoying ever day with them, and I'm beginning to prepare myself for going back to work...which is going to be SO hard.

Jackson, Brayden, and Emma are getting so big. They had their 4 month check up today. Jackson weighed in at 15lbs 2oz, Brayden was 14lbs 6oz, and Emma was 11lbs 12 oz. You would never know they were 6 weeks early! Emma decided to show off on Tuesday, and she was the first of the trio to roll over. Jackson couldn't stand to be shown up, so he rolled over on Wednesday. Brayden isn't very competative, so he is in no hurry. lol

Jackson needs me now, those shots did a number on him =( I will try to update more soon

Time Flies...

...when you're having fun. It also flies when you aren't getting much sleep. The babies are 5 weeks old this week, and they are growing so fast. Each of them are so precious and different from one another. Jackson Ryder, "Baby A" is our laid back boy. He loves to eat..currently weighs the most, and hardly fusses at all.

Brayden Campbell "baby B"loves to be held. His Ma's (my mom) and Nana (dh's mom) have spoiled him when they are here...but that's okay...babies are meant to be spoiled.

Emma Lee "Baby C" is our princess/diva. She was so still and quiet when she was in my belly, but now she likes to make herself known. Everyone says she will have to be loud with 2 brothers. Everything has been going great since we've been home. Of course I doubt myself from time to time, and I have made mistakes, but I learn each day what works. We had a scare with Jackson this week that sent us all to the doctor to deal with reflux. We've cut back on how much they are eating, and the problem has really corrected itself. The doctor only charged us one 30 dollar co-pay this time, so that was an added bonus. I don't have a lot of time to blog anymore, but I promise to update when I can. I hear the babies stirring, so I'd better go!

Triple the blessings!

It's super early, as I have just finished pumping some milk for the babies. The past 5 days have been a whirlwind for us. Tomorrow I will be discharged and, the babies will be staying in the NICU, which is something I always expected from the beginning of the pregnancy, but that doesn't make it any easier. Jackson and Emma (baby a and c) are progressing very well. They have been breathing and eating on their own for a few days. Brayden (baby B: my biggest baby) has been having a harder time of it all. In multiples he is what they refer to as the wussy/wimpy white male. For some reason, the biggest boy always seems to have a more difficult time. He has not yet been able to be taken off of the iv, or tried to eat on his own, but he does get some of my milk put in his cheek for the nutrients. He was put on Cpap they evening of their birth, and seeing him struggle to breath has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. )Yesterday, the doctor took him off cpap because his chest xray showed that there was some streaking on his right lung that indicated that the pressure from the cpap was causing a few leaks. So, as it is now, he is still receiving oxygen, but through a nasal tube alone. We hope he can stay on this and improve without having to go back to cpap or possibly a ventilator. Brayden was also put on some photo therapy yesterday. Being on the iv for so long has caused him to be a bit jaundice, but we aren't really concerned with that. Finally, the doctor did an ultrasound on his heart and was able to determine that a blood vessel that is supposed to close at birth is still partially open, which can cause lung trouble. However, the doctor referred to a cardiologist and together they determined it was something they were willing to let work itself out, as the drug treatment can usually put a strain on the kidneys and decrease urine output.

We are so blessed to have each of these babies in our lives, and we are equally as thankful that we have such supportive family and friends. Without you guys, we couldn't do this on our own. Please continue to pray for our new family of 5, especially for the babies and for strength and healing for Brayden. Mommy and Daddy can't wait to hold him, but he has to get better first.