Saturday, January 16, 2010

Funk

I'm in a funk tonight. My husband is hunting out of town again tonight, and I just got home from working at our school's pageant. I don't love the idea of pageants anyways, much less pageants for middle school girls. That's such a hard time for girls. The pageant itself isn't what got me down though. The teacher that organizes the pageant is pregnant. I just found out before Christmas break, and she wasn't telling anyone yet, but she was really showing tonight. I hated it, but every time I saw her, my eyes fell to her stomach and I was just overwhelmed with sadness and jealousy.

So then, I get home...to an empty house....Augh! It doesn't help that things are also awkward with my friend who lives close by, who I would usually call when I had nothing to do. She too has just found out good news. She doesn't really know how to talk to me and vice versa. So I'm just lonely, sad, and jealous. And those aren't endearing qualities.

I think I just need to go to bed and pray I wake up in a better mood.

3 comments:

  1. I'm sorry =(
    When the funk grabs on to you, its so tough to shake it off. What you are feeling is so normal for us infertiles, which is sad in itself. The green monster of envy lives in me 24/7, I'll tell you that. Hope your day is better today. ((hugs))

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  2. Thanks Shanny, I'm feeling better today. I'm glad you found me!

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  3. Boo, I'm sorry that you had such an awful day. Sometimes it just feels like the world is out to get us infertiles, doesn't it? :) It is days like that that I have to really draw close to the Lord because I do feel so alone. He is ALWAYS there though, I can never actually be alone!! That's a good feeling!

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