Wednesday, January 27, 2010


Sometimes, I wish for just once in my life that the world would be still, stop spinning, everyone would stop doing what they were doing, so that I could catch up. The problem is that it's never going to do that for me. The world will go on spining, people will go on with their lives, women will get pregnant, families will grow, and I'll just be here waiting. I'm waiting for my turn to shine, my turn to get pregnant, my turn to start a family.

I've had a rough few days. They haven't been the worst days I've had by far, but I just have that nagging empty feeling, the jealous feeling, the angry feeling. Today is CD7, my last 50IU injection of Follistim in my belly tonight...unless they tell me otherwise at my appointment in the morning. I know it's early in my cycle for my follies to be ready, but I'm nervous about tomorrow because I know it'll be the first day of blood work to check my estrogen. Last cycle, everything was cancelled because my estrogen was so low. I really can't handle another cancelled cycle. Last night I told my DH to cheer for my follies to grow and my estrogen to rise. He did, it was cute. I hope it works.

On another note, I signed up for "Scale Back Alabama" yesterday. I'm fat and infertile..not a good combination. I just hope that I quit retaining water with this Follistim. I put on 3 lbs in one day of just water weight! That's nuts!!!!

1 comment:

  1. I understand how you are feeling. Keep your head up!