I'm not frequently excited to see Aunt Flo's arrival, but this morning I have to admit it was a not so terrifying experience. Althought it didn't keep my DH and I from trying, we both knew this month was shot. I'm looking at Aunt Flo's arrival as a positive things. It's a new beginning, a new cycle, a new chance. I never decided what I wanted to do about switching doctors, so I called St. Vincents this morning and set up my CD3 u/s. I go in Saturday at 9:15. I was kind of glad it fell that way, because that's one less day I have to be late to work. I'm kind of anxious about what our plan for this month will be. Last month we were supposed to start with Follistim and try our shot at our first IUI, but my estrogen had different plans. I'm really hoping that we can go ahead with these plans this month. I want to have faith that this will be our month, but there is always that negative part of my brain telling me not to get my hopes up. Everyone just pray for me. If you don't pray...at least think happy thoughts for me.
I feel like I've made a lot of progress in dealing with all the pregnancy around me. Don't get me wrong, I would have rather dug a whole and just tucked myself in tight until the next 9 months or so passed by, but the issue would have still been there when I emerged. I have to remind myself, that in the same way infertility is in my every thought, and it seeps its way into every conversation, a person who is pregnant is going through a similar situation. They just have happier thoughts than mine. Ha!
I'm really having to do some soul searching, and I'm trying to figure out what God's plan is. I feel like he's been speaking to me, and I need to get myself in order! Nick and I are about to start shopping for a home church, and I'm very excited. I had to make a sacrifice in order to do this though. I had to resign from my nursery job at FUMC. I just went and spoke with my boss today. It was bitter sweet. I love those babies, but I really feel like I'm doing what God wants me to do, and who can deny that, right?
Until next time!