Well, yesterday was an eventful experience. I'm sure all of you know the drill of the IUI, but as a first timer...we had some giggles for sure. We weren't sure if wives typically go to the "men's area" to help with their part of the job, so I went ahead and headed that way with him. It turns out, I was just a distraction, so I was banned from the room lol. Waiting for my appointment seemed like an eternity. We went down to Starbucks and ran into a coach from the high school that was waiting on his baby. I was happy for him. He and his wife had fertility struggles, then adopted a son a few years ago. This baby was a complete surprise and miracle.
Back on track, so when we finally got called back for the IUI, I was just amused at the whole, "state your name" session, and signatures that they did. I understand the importance of this, but for some reason, when someone knows my name and they ask me to state my name, it kinda makes me feel like a psychiactric patient. The procedure itself wasn't too bad. Like Samantha suggested, I just picked a spot on the ceiling and it was done in no time...just a little discomfort, noting major. Then we did the run down the hall in a sheet manuver to the u/s room. It determined that my egg did release.
On a more grim note. Dr. Long mentioned to us that Nick's SA showed that his numbers were good, but morphology wasn't great. He suggested taking fertility blend for men. Why was this not addressed before they were about to inject his boys? He kinda just played it off like it wasn't too big of a deal. Today, we get a message from the nurses, that painted an even more grim picture. The nurse said the numbers weren't as good as Dr. Long had made us feel they were, then she said they wanted to do a test to see if his swimmers were able to penetrate an egg. Of course insurance doesn't cover this test, and it runs about $400 dollars.
So, like that I go from hopeful to wanting to just quit trying all together. Not only am I a factor in our fertility struggles, now my DH is too. Makes my attempt at the IUI yesterday with one measly egg just a waste of effort. I know I'm supposed to be pulling my faith together right now, and trying to be strong, but I'm just angry. For the first time, DH is showing his stress about this whole situation...he's texting me from work now. I think I'll just go crawl back in bed today.
So, now my husband tells me that he's sorry but he doesn't think we can afford this anymore. He thinks maybe we'll get pg trying naturally. I don't think so. I'm kind of at a loss right now.
I think I have two bottles of fertility blend if you want them. Try not to get too down about this! This cycle still might be the one for you guys!
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Thanks Brandy, I really shouldn't blog in the middle of my emotional crisis. I need some time to let my husbands reactions to the doctors news settle with me. I'd be willing to buy that fertility blend from you. Bring it to the next Resolve meeting if you think about it.
ReplyDeleteDon't give up Rachel. The money will work itself out. I know that is easier said then done....but it will. Pray on it!
ReplyDeleteI'm praying that you won't even have to worry about this....and that this IUI will work.
Hello Sweet Rachel,
ReplyDeleteOh my, we've all had those days when FAITH seems out of reach and HOPE illudes us. We've all experienced the repeated sagas of "why did the Dr's not tell us that sooner" and the plethora of scenarios that make our hearts heavy. However, don't count yourself out, don't quit, rest your sweet head and be good to yourself and the rest will work out. And, it only takes 1 sperm and 1 egg :)
I'm in the waiting game with you...not sure what comes next for us, but I'm trying to hang in there and will myself through the storms, as they do seem to pass.
Much Love and Many Hugs, as this path does become taxing.
Andrea
persuitofourfairytale.com
Oh Rachel I'm praying that you wont even have to worry about a next cycle. The other girls have said it all above, I'm just going to keep my fingers tightly crossed for this IUI to give you a huge huge blessing. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you had such an icky day with icky news. But keep in mind that God made Mary, the virgin, pregnant! He made Sarah pregnant and she was 90 something years old! He raised Lazarus from the dead! He healed lepers, blind men, crippled, etc. He is capable of doing ANYTHING ANYWAY He wants in HIS TIMING. Don't get down by earthly statistics because God doesn't work by human statistics. I will be praying for you as you are waiting and learning to trust in the Lord's ways and the Lord's timing.
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