I would have been 12 weeks pregnant today. I'm sure there will be so many "would haves" in my future. I'm handling today okay though. I guess sometimes you just have that peace. I'm not saying that tomorrow I might be a basket case, or even later today for that matter, but right now...I'm okay.
I've been reading a devotional book called "Grieving the Child I Never Knew" by Kathe Wunnenberg. One of the devotions that has stood out to me talks about the story of the 2 women in 1 Kings who were fighting over a baby. I've heard this story several times in my life growing up in church, but this time I had some different feelings about it. When I was young, I thought the woman who was claiming the baby was hers was an insane horrible woman. Now, I feel so sympathetic for that poor woman. I'm not saying that taking someone's baby and trying to claim it as your own is right by any means, but think about what grief she must have been feeling when she woke up and her baby was dead...and close by, just within her reach, there was another beautiful, healthy baby. Since jealousy is something I've been struggling with, I can imagine how she might have felt looking at the other baby...longing for it as if it were her own. Poor woman. I do have to say though, that I think she was a bit off her rocker, when the king said that the solution was to cut the baby in half, her response was "Neither I nor you shall have him. Cut him in two!" Bless her heart, I know that sometime in the pit of despair, I have felt that I just wanted others to feel the hurt like I do so I wouldn't be alone in my pain....but come on woman, seriously?!
Anyways, I just thought it was interesting how life experiences, no matter how good or bad can change the meaning of a story you've heard all your life.
Right after work I'm heading to B'ham for the Extraordinary Women's conference with my big sister. I pray that God speaks to me, and continues to bring me peace and strength in my hour of need. My heart goes out to Patrish right now, I'm sending love and prayers your way.